When I was engaged, I spent an entire 3-day weekend making chocolate candies in the shapes of seashells, and crushing graham crackers into “sand”. Sure, they were tasty, and they looked really cute tied up with baby blue ribbon in plastic bags. But honestly, at the end of our wedding night half of them were left on tables, and our caterer probably threw them away. My new husband and our friends were already at a beach bar, drinking margaritas, laughing and dancing. The favors I lovingly assembled from scratch were quickly forgotten.
How do I wish I had spent that 3-day weekend instead?
I wish my hubby-to-be and I had snuck off to the desert for some camping and mountain biking. Or I wish we’d turned off our phones and laptops and and made an elaborate steak dinner at home. I wish instead of spending 3 days on a DIY project he wasn’t interested in, we’d have spent time having fun, joking around, and (as cheesy as it might sound) bonding and growing even closer.
There’s nothing wrong with DIY projects and falling in love with the details. It’s ok to go crazy with pinning and to binge watch Say Yes to the Dress.
But when you two got engaged, you made a commitment to share your lives together. And you love your fiance more than anyone in this whole. wide. world. There isn’t anyone with whom you’d rather plan fun adventures, play outside, road trip, dream big dreams, or tackle life’s inevitable curve balls.
So ask yourself: what do you want to remember about your engagement?
Do you want to remember staying up half the night contemplating your seating chart? Or do you want to create REAL memories?
I know you’ve heard it before…one day (let’s face it – pretty soon) all of this wedding stuff will be over. A year or two from now, the time you spent scouring the internet for the perfect nail color or obsessing over peonies vs. dahlias will long be forgotten.
My wish for you is that you find your perfect balance. Maybe that means hiring a planner or scrapping the DIY projects. Or maybe that means you and your bestie work on welcome bags with a bottle of wine, while your fiance’s off playing in a hockey tournament. Whatever it means to you, don’t forget the most important thing – the person you chose to be your partner in life. Make them the #1 priority, and don’t forget to let them know it.
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“A wedding is a party, not a performance. If at the the end of the day, you are married to the one you love, then everything went perfectly.”
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